So one of the things that I loved the most about breakfast were the overnight oats that I would make for quick morning grabs. They were super simple - a single serving of Greek yogurt (any flavor), 1/4 cup of oats, throw in some chia seeds and fruit and let refrigerate overnight. Voila! Super easy and good!
When I gave up dairy, my mind went first to pizza (seriously. how was I going to survive??), and then to overnight oats. I quickly did some pinterest hunting and found this recipe. It seriously is amazing!!
1 banana, mashed up
1 cup almond milk (I personally prefer the silk protein/fiber one)
1 cup oats
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon chia seeds
1 tsp honey
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
mix all together and separate into two containers. I see a lot of people use mason jars. I'm not that into appearances, so I just use Tupperware.
I may have made part of that up, because I can never remember recipes. Add anything else you may want to have included... I bet if some sort of jam went into it, it would be delicious too - PB, Jelly, and banana?? Mmm mmm mmm..
Happy breakfasting!
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Sometimes you're in the right place at the worst possible time..
2 years ago, well 2 1/2 years ago now, I gave notice to my company of 10 years that I was moving to Portland, OR. I had spent 2 weeks in Ohio as an already planned trip, and was able to wrap up a lot of loose ends while there.
On my last night in town, my work friends and I decided to go out to our favorite hangout and celebrate my pending resignation. B and I had talked through a social app, but I never really give those conversations much thought because I was in and out so often.. nothing ever stuck. The first week I was in town, I think we started talking literally my first night there, and I was in a hotel. I was so jet lagged, no plans worked out. He talked me through the impending doom that was telling my family about the job, and was my ear when I needed one. ANYWAY, he came out my last night in town after he got off of work.
When he walked in the bar, my heart did the pidder padder thing that I hadn't felt in years. He grabbed a beer, and came up to my friends and just fit in with everyone. One by one everyone started to drop out, as everyone else had to get up the next day.. i just had to catch a flight, so I stuck around. B and I ended up staying out until at least 3 AM. We may have made out in the parking lot until that time (the bar closed down), and then we both made our separate ways home.
I got back to Rachel's, and packed my suitcase so I wouldn't have to worry about it in the morning and crawled into bed. My flight was at 9 AM or so, and I overslept. Rachel had to wake me up, and while I rushed around and gave her the short story (IMETSOMEONEANDITWASMYLASTNIGHTINTOWN is probably how it sounded to her.. lol), and then made my way to the airport.
As I typically had a layover in Atlanta, I started feeling crappy in between flights. Obviously, I had been up super late the night before.. and it was January in Ohio. It was probably 20 degrees outside. Maybe 30. When I got back to Jacksonville, I texted B to let him know I made it and commented that I didn't feel well and hoped he didn't have anything come around because of it.. to which he said he didn't feel the greatest either. It became an inside joke.. and then I eventually learned that he was already sick. Thanks, dude. :) I guess it was worth it!
At any rate, I got to work packing up my Florida apartment (that I had lived in for 3 months.. Fortunately, I traveled a lot, so not much was unpacked other than my kitchen). The day my movers came, I was a wreck. He talked about driving down to hang out with me until it was "go" time, but we decided that the money he would spend on that trip, he could put it to the side for a trip to Portland, OR.
We talked off and on over the next year.. both of us entering and exiting dating others.. and then he started talking about flying out to Portland again. At first it was going to be for New Years, but he could only stay for 2-3 days.. and flying across the country wouldn't be worth that. So he kept watching flights and it was finally established (ironically on our year "anniversary" of when we first met), that he was coming to visit me the week after valentines day.
The week before he came, I moved into my new apartment. It was sidelined for 3 days because of a snow storm that shut down the city of Portland, and I got super ancy that the weather wouldn't be good while he was here. I had my work's gala the weekend before and it was rainy, and yeah.. I was panicking!
He showed up on a Wednesday and we hugged for what seemed like forever at the airport. We left there and explored for much of the rest of the day and passed out by 8 PM.. maybe 9. Both awake super early the next day, we were off to Seattle for the day, since it was going to be rainy in Portland, and sunny and nice there. We met up with one of his college friends and explored the city.. getting back to Portland at 4 AM. The next day, we stuck around Portland, taking the Max around, and went to the coast the following day. Our last day together.. we were working on a puzzle (ha - i know. we're old) at my table, and my kitten comes disney cat leaping out of the bathroom with pellets of water springing off of her. I had thrown a load of laundry in and thought maybe I kept the lid up and she fell in... nope. Something broke and my bathroom was flooded. My other cat was in the furthest corner on my counter trying to hide and I grabbed her and brought her out... while I called maintenance, he worked on cleaning up the water.
When I dropped him off at the airport that night, I couldn't even watch him go through security.. I started crying the minute that he gave them his ticket and ID.. and I lost it all the way back to the car.
Since that time, I've made two trips back home to see him. The last trip was weird and felt off... like we weren't as connected as we have been. I have a sneaking suspicion that he may be seeing someone else. I can't complain nor say much. We aren't together. We are separated by 2000+ miles currently and it's not realistic to think that we can make this work.. though I would certainly try.
I don't trust people very often. When I date guys, I have walls upon walls built up, which often pushes them away. B has managed to burst through all walls.. which scares the hell out of me.
Sigh.
On my last night in town, my work friends and I decided to go out to our favorite hangout and celebrate my pending resignation. B and I had talked through a social app, but I never really give those conversations much thought because I was in and out so often.. nothing ever stuck. The first week I was in town, I think we started talking literally my first night there, and I was in a hotel. I was so jet lagged, no plans worked out. He talked me through the impending doom that was telling my family about the job, and was my ear when I needed one. ANYWAY, he came out my last night in town after he got off of work.
When he walked in the bar, my heart did the pidder padder thing that I hadn't felt in years. He grabbed a beer, and came up to my friends and just fit in with everyone. One by one everyone started to drop out, as everyone else had to get up the next day.. i just had to catch a flight, so I stuck around. B and I ended up staying out until at least 3 AM. We may have made out in the parking lot until that time (the bar closed down), and then we both made our separate ways home.
I got back to Rachel's, and packed my suitcase so I wouldn't have to worry about it in the morning and crawled into bed. My flight was at 9 AM or so, and I overslept. Rachel had to wake me up, and while I rushed around and gave her the short story (IMETSOMEONEANDITWASMYLASTNIGHTINTOWN is probably how it sounded to her.. lol), and then made my way to the airport.
As I typically had a layover in Atlanta, I started feeling crappy in between flights. Obviously, I had been up super late the night before.. and it was January in Ohio. It was probably 20 degrees outside. Maybe 30. When I got back to Jacksonville, I texted B to let him know I made it and commented that I didn't feel well and hoped he didn't have anything come around because of it.. to which he said he didn't feel the greatest either. It became an inside joke.. and then I eventually learned that he was already sick. Thanks, dude. :) I guess it was worth it!
At any rate, I got to work packing up my Florida apartment (that I had lived in for 3 months.. Fortunately, I traveled a lot, so not much was unpacked other than my kitchen). The day my movers came, I was a wreck. He talked about driving down to hang out with me until it was "go" time, but we decided that the money he would spend on that trip, he could put it to the side for a trip to Portland, OR.
We talked off and on over the next year.. both of us entering and exiting dating others.. and then he started talking about flying out to Portland again. At first it was going to be for New Years, but he could only stay for 2-3 days.. and flying across the country wouldn't be worth that. So he kept watching flights and it was finally established (ironically on our year "anniversary" of when we first met), that he was coming to visit me the week after valentines day.
The week before he came, I moved into my new apartment. It was sidelined for 3 days because of a snow storm that shut down the city of Portland, and I got super ancy that the weather wouldn't be good while he was here. I had my work's gala the weekend before and it was rainy, and yeah.. I was panicking!
He showed up on a Wednesday and we hugged for what seemed like forever at the airport. We left there and explored for much of the rest of the day and passed out by 8 PM.. maybe 9. Both awake super early the next day, we were off to Seattle for the day, since it was going to be rainy in Portland, and sunny and nice there. We met up with one of his college friends and explored the city.. getting back to Portland at 4 AM. The next day, we stuck around Portland, taking the Max around, and went to the coast the following day. Our last day together.. we were working on a puzzle (ha - i know. we're old) at my table, and my kitten comes disney cat leaping out of the bathroom with pellets of water springing off of her. I had thrown a load of laundry in and thought maybe I kept the lid up and she fell in... nope. Something broke and my bathroom was flooded. My other cat was in the furthest corner on my counter trying to hide and I grabbed her and brought her out... while I called maintenance, he worked on cleaning up the water.
When I dropped him off at the airport that night, I couldn't even watch him go through security.. I started crying the minute that he gave them his ticket and ID.. and I lost it all the way back to the car.
Since that time, I've made two trips back home to see him. The last trip was weird and felt off... like we weren't as connected as we have been. I have a sneaking suspicion that he may be seeing someone else. I can't complain nor say much. We aren't together. We are separated by 2000+ miles currently and it's not realistic to think that we can make this work.. though I would certainly try.
I don't trust people very often. When I date guys, I have walls upon walls built up, which often pushes them away. B has managed to burst through all walls.. which scares the hell out of me.
Sigh.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Life Decisions
Over the last few months, I've made a few changes in my life. They make my happy, and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. :) They include:
- Train for a 1/2 and full marathon (1/2 is completed, but I have to get my time better before I even consider doing a full)
- Became a beachbody coach
- Get my eating under order
When I decided to train for a 1/2.. I went all out. I registered for 3. The first one was in May.. and I crossed the finish line sobbing at 3:40. SOBBING. Not happy tears, either. Around mile 6 my left knee popped.. and it went downhill from there. By the end of the race, my right hip (complete opposite side of my body) hurt so badly that it took me everything I had to even keep going. I was bound determined to get the medal though. My mindset kept saying "3 more miles.. 2 more miles.. 1 more" and so on (starting from the halfway point.. lol). It got me through! My next one is in July. I don't have much more hope for that one, BUT, I started running today with the Running Chicks, and that will be on Saturday mornings and Tuesday evenings. Provided I get one more run in during the week, I think I can definitely beat my previous time. Hell.. so long as my knee doesn't give out again, I should be able to be closer to 3 hours.
It's no secret that I love Beachbody. LOVE IT. I think they are a fantastic company and provide exceptional products... even though I love to swear at Shaun T constantly. I feel better afterwards at least! After a lot of thinking, I decided to become a coach. Granted, it was primarily for the discount, but I wanted to motivate people. I've been pushing the motivating a little more lately (push a little and be pushed in return, right?), and I noticed that someone had defriended me. When I asked them about it, I was told "Well, I liked the old Kelli better. Now all you post about is fitness and being happy." Ehmm.. okay? So you liked the Kelli that was depressed, overweight (granted, I'm still that girl), and unhappy about being dealt the short stick for most things? OKAY THEN. And I accepted their opinion and moved on.
Getting my eating under order is a fun topic. I'm a funny girl when it comes to eating. I don't really eat red meat unless my iron is low.. and I really only eat during the week. I forget on the weekends. Seriously. I can go all day and then around dinnertime (normally when I'm out doing something), I am FAMISHED. So when I would eat, I would gorge on anything around me. I was tired constantly, and just blah all around. My boss approached me about it and told me that I should watch Forks over Knives.. so I did last weekend. Which then led me to Netflix's recommendation of "Vegucated". After the first one, I was just thinking "Okay, I can see the point.." but after the second one? I got out of bed and CLEANED OUT MY FRIDGE AND FREEZER. I have now been animal protein free (for the most part) for 7 days. Today is day 8. And let me tell you - I feel FANTASTIC! I'm super alert, I'm not tired at all, and I have no idea how this fits into this whole saga - but I've been wearing contacts since 7 AM, and they aren't bothering me one bit.
I've been slowly telling people about all of the above - and I have to say. I'm amazed with all of the negativity I'm getting in return. For running, it's usually "You run 13.1 miles? For fun? You know that's bad for you, right?" It's healthier than being on the couch! For Beachbody, it's "It's just a fad. It doesn't actually do anything for you.. pyramid scheme.. they just want your money." Tell that to the 15 pounds I've lost in the last year. And that was on a part-time whenever I felt like it basis (so probably 1/4 time). For the vegan part? That's where I get the most negativity. "That's so LAME. Why would you do something like that?" Seriously. I've heard it from at least 3 people. I'm not saying it's going to stick forever, or that I won't "splurge" from time to time.. but I feel better. And it's just food. Everyone lives differently!
I've made it my goal to wipe the negativity out. Have them see me, have them see the changes, and THEN change their opinion about it all. I thoroughly enjoy everything that I'm doing, and I'm hoping that as I move forward, more people will jump on board and not only see, but join me in my healthy endeavors.
My PiYo order was shipped Friday. To say that I'm excited is an understatement. I've made it my goal to stick to the 60 day plan, and to document my progress. People may think now that it's a "fad thing", but I'm going to prove to them that it's not.
Let's do this! :)
A new direction!
My life goals are continuously changing. Here's a huge update on what's been going on:
I moved to Portland, OR back in February 2013. It has proven continuously to be the best decision I have ever made.
Anyway, I already knew a few people when I moved here (much easier transition than when I moved to FL), and soon found myself in a relationship. Come May 2013, I realized that my running had changed. I was short breathed, tired all of the time, and only wanted to eat sweets. I was never "regular" so I took a test, thinking that I was just stressed out and not really worried about it.. until it came back positive.
I called my best friend sobbing. I had deadlines, I was going to be a single mom, I didn't want kids, etc. She explained to me that I say I don't want kids because of what happened to me previously, that my mind is protecting myself and that I would be a great mother - because she sees how I am with Lexie (my niece, her daughter).
At any rate, I wasn't thinking about keeping the kid (The first thing I said to the doctor was "that due date doesn't work for me.. I have a deadline 2 days before)... but I didn't know what I wanted. Over the span of 3 days, I think I went through every emotion and every possible decision in my head, and while "K" and I made a decision on what was going to happen, my mind was continuously making overturns.
Two or three days after finding out I was 6 weeks pregnant, I was at the casino with my best friend in Portland and I didn't feel right. I was experiencing cramps and general wooziness (which I hadn't really ate much that day, so I didn't think much of it, other than grabbing a granola bar and a sweet drink at the gas station). On the way home, I felt worse and worse.. and when I got home, I realized that nothing was right about how I was feeling. I was paralyzed on my couch, with my doctor saying that because I was at 6 weeks, there was nothing they could do and that I should "ride it out" and told me what to watch for.. and if I wasn't feeling better in 48 hours to come in and they would do what they do.
Happy Memorial Day to me, right?
I felt so much guilt, so much sadness.. and so much relief. And, I think this is the first time I've told anyone but a few select people.. on a blog. But it works into my story, so I am fine with sharing.
At any rate, I felt myself spiraling down to the point of where my depression was back and rearing its ugly head. I had made negotiations with one of my doctors that I would work out in exchange for not being on meds anymore, as they made me feel not like myself. I knew that I needed to get back into that in order to return to me.
This blog is changing directions for the most part. Originally, it was designed to help me understand and figure out where things were going wrong in my life, and to detail the hilarious encounters I was experiencing as a single girl. But now, in addition to all that, I'm going to be documenting my life. From fitness to work to having fun. Enjoy! :)
I moved to Portland, OR back in February 2013. It has proven continuously to be the best decision I have ever made.
Anyway, I already knew a few people when I moved here (much easier transition than when I moved to FL), and soon found myself in a relationship. Come May 2013, I realized that my running had changed. I was short breathed, tired all of the time, and only wanted to eat sweets. I was never "regular" so I took a test, thinking that I was just stressed out and not really worried about it.. until it came back positive.
I called my best friend sobbing. I had deadlines, I was going to be a single mom, I didn't want kids, etc. She explained to me that I say I don't want kids because of what happened to me previously, that my mind is protecting myself and that I would be a great mother - because she sees how I am with Lexie (my niece, her daughter).
At any rate, I wasn't thinking about keeping the kid (The first thing I said to the doctor was "that due date doesn't work for me.. I have a deadline 2 days before)... but I didn't know what I wanted. Over the span of 3 days, I think I went through every emotion and every possible decision in my head, and while "K" and I made a decision on what was going to happen, my mind was continuously making overturns.
Two or three days after finding out I was 6 weeks pregnant, I was at the casino with my best friend in Portland and I didn't feel right. I was experiencing cramps and general wooziness (which I hadn't really ate much that day, so I didn't think much of it, other than grabbing a granola bar and a sweet drink at the gas station). On the way home, I felt worse and worse.. and when I got home, I realized that nothing was right about how I was feeling. I was paralyzed on my couch, with my doctor saying that because I was at 6 weeks, there was nothing they could do and that I should "ride it out" and told me what to watch for.. and if I wasn't feeling better in 48 hours to come in and they would do what they do.
Happy Memorial Day to me, right?
I felt so much guilt, so much sadness.. and so much relief. And, I think this is the first time I've told anyone but a few select people.. on a blog. But it works into my story, so I am fine with sharing.
At any rate, I felt myself spiraling down to the point of where my depression was back and rearing its ugly head. I had made negotiations with one of my doctors that I would work out in exchange for not being on meds anymore, as they made me feel not like myself. I knew that I needed to get back into that in order to return to me.
This blog is changing directions for the most part. Originally, it was designed to help me understand and figure out where things were going wrong in my life, and to detail the hilarious encounters I was experiencing as a single girl. But now, in addition to all that, I'm going to be documenting my life. From fitness to work to having fun. Enjoy! :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
I have a very bad... habit? Outcome? Hell, I dunno what to call it.
First a story... of the most horrendous blind date ever.
So I go to this restaurant to meet a guy that an employee thinks I would be "perfect" for. I sit down at the table, and think "Okay.. this might not be so bad."
Boyy, was I wrong!
Here's how the conversation went:
Guy: So, what do you do for work?
Me: The easy version is that I do a type of Project Management for defaulted mortgages. What about you?
Guy: Oh, I'm unemployed (red flag #1!)
Me: That sucks, I'm sorry to hear it. (thinking WTF am I doing here!?)
Guy: It's okay. Do you have any kids?
Me: Nope. I'm not sure I ever want children. You?
Guy: Yes. I have 4. But it's okay, because grandma took care of them all before they were born.
Me: WHAT?!
Guy: You know... abortion. I guess she felt she didn't want to raise them, since I was in federal pen for 10 years.
Me: WHAT!? (at this point I'm scrambling for an excuse) Umm, can you excuse me for a minute, I need to use the restaurant.
Me (In restroom): (Dialing frantically): HEY! I need for you to call me and tell me that something happened to my project and I need to go back to work to fix it, since deadline is tomorrow.
annnnd with that... that's the first time I have EVER utilized a friend to bail me out of a horrible first date. When I got to work the following day, the employee claimed to have no knowledge of this guy's background, but who knows.
So back to the original story I wanted to tell:
I met a guy back in April who took me out on the most amazing, best first date ever. He took me to a shooting range and taught me how to shoot hand guns. I've shot things like paintball guns, or bee bee guns... or even nerf guns (fun first date question btw), but those things you just... shoot. After we finished there, we went for sushi and talked until the wee hours of the morning. So he stayed in constant contact for a few days after, but our schedules weren't meshing (He is an attorney doing much of the same stuff I do - dealing with defaults), but we planned on going to a Ben Folds concert before I went out of the country on vacation. At any rate, he had to work so I scrambled to find someone to take with me last minute... I think I wrote him off at that point.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and had a text from him. We are both insomniacs, so it wasn't uncommon for us to have conversations at 4 AM. I texted him back, and we started talking about life, how he quit his job, how I was going to West Palm Beach for an interview, etc... He told me he would hate it if I moved away. We made plans for later that day (lunch), and went from there.
We started spending a lot of time together, but I noticed when my friends got to town, he became distant. He told me that he went into his "dark" place and didn't want to drag me down with him. I get that - sometimes I get down and just want to be left alone too. So, the following Monday, he made plans with me but broke them because his realtor scheduled a house showing (first I heard he was selling his house), so he rescheduled for the following day, promising dinner. The next day. he cancelled again.
Saturday night, I finally texted him asking if I did something.. and I got a long response back, basically saying that he started seeing someone else and he was moving to Atlanta to be with her... he couldn't tell me this when he, I dunno, put the house on the market and told me that it didn't mean he was moving to Atlanta, just selling his house?
Guys are so confusing. And PS, that makes 3 guys that broke up with me (or stopped seeing me) because he found someone else.
So currently, the thought going through my head is that I'm only good enough until someone better comes along.
Le sigh.
First a story... of the most horrendous blind date ever.
So I go to this restaurant to meet a guy that an employee thinks I would be "perfect" for. I sit down at the table, and think "Okay.. this might not be so bad."
Boyy, was I wrong!
Here's how the conversation went:
Guy: So, what do you do for work?
Me: The easy version is that I do a type of Project Management for defaulted mortgages. What about you?
Guy: Oh, I'm unemployed (red flag #1!)
Me: That sucks, I'm sorry to hear it. (thinking WTF am I doing here!?)
Guy: It's okay. Do you have any kids?
Me: Nope. I'm not sure I ever want children. You?
Guy: Yes. I have 4. But it's okay, because grandma took care of them all before they were born.
Me: WHAT?!
Guy: You know... abortion. I guess she felt she didn't want to raise them, since I was in federal pen for 10 years.
Me: WHAT!? (at this point I'm scrambling for an excuse) Umm, can you excuse me for a minute, I need to use the restaurant.
Me (In restroom): (Dialing frantically): HEY! I need for you to call me and tell me that something happened to my project and I need to go back to work to fix it, since deadline is tomorrow.
annnnd with that... that's the first time I have EVER utilized a friend to bail me out of a horrible first date. When I got to work the following day, the employee claimed to have no knowledge of this guy's background, but who knows.
So back to the original story I wanted to tell:
I met a guy back in April who took me out on the most amazing, best first date ever. He took me to a shooting range and taught me how to shoot hand guns. I've shot things like paintball guns, or bee bee guns... or even nerf guns (fun first date question btw), but those things you just... shoot. After we finished there, we went for sushi and talked until the wee hours of the morning. So he stayed in constant contact for a few days after, but our schedules weren't meshing (He is an attorney doing much of the same stuff I do - dealing with defaults), but we planned on going to a Ben Folds concert before I went out of the country on vacation. At any rate, he had to work so I scrambled to find someone to take with me last minute... I think I wrote him off at that point.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and had a text from him. We are both insomniacs, so it wasn't uncommon for us to have conversations at 4 AM. I texted him back, and we started talking about life, how he quit his job, how I was going to West Palm Beach for an interview, etc... He told me he would hate it if I moved away. We made plans for later that day (lunch), and went from there.
We started spending a lot of time together, but I noticed when my friends got to town, he became distant. He told me that he went into his "dark" place and didn't want to drag me down with him. I get that - sometimes I get down and just want to be left alone too. So, the following Monday, he made plans with me but broke them because his realtor scheduled a house showing (first I heard he was selling his house), so he rescheduled for the following day, promising dinner. The next day. he cancelled again.
Saturday night, I finally texted him asking if I did something.. and I got a long response back, basically saying that he started seeing someone else and he was moving to Atlanta to be with her... he couldn't tell me this when he, I dunno, put the house on the market and told me that it didn't mean he was moving to Atlanta, just selling his house?
Guys are so confusing. And PS, that makes 3 guys that broke up with me (or stopped seeing me) because he found someone else.
So currently, the thought going through my head is that I'm only good enough until someone better comes along.
Le sigh.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Sooo.. I really suck at this updating thing.
I've been on vacation all week, and it hasn't really been too exciting.
JG - JG and I had talked for a while, and decided Sunday that we were going to hang out after he got off work that night and I was done with friends (We had gone to the Riverside Luminaries). We decide that a night of playing board games, watching Friends, etc was going to be a fun night. We started off playing memory - which he kicked my ass in. Then we played jenga, uno, and friends trivia... all of which I won. I think he got tired of losing so much to me, so we picked a movie to watch and settled in to watch it. By this point it was like 3 AM or so, but we made it through the movie. After it was over, we bickered back and forth because I was swearing up and down that one of the dental patients in the movie was one of the guys off of a TV show that I love. We went back and forth for a while, which turned into him kissing me... possibly to get me to shut up. This turned into us making out until about 6:30 AM, at which time he asked me if I wanted to stay or if I wanted to go.. I gave him the choice and he said I should just stay, it was getting late... so we went to bed fully clothed (making out some more). I left about 9 AM, and he was sound asleep. At any rate, what I don't understand is that we had a great time (my face hurt from laughing so much), he kissed me, he kept talking about "next time..." but I haven't heard from him since Monday. Hm.
T- So Thursday, I got a surprise text from a guy I had gone out with two weeks ago. I assumed that two weeks ago, it was done. He didn't look at me once (that I could tell) when he talked, etc. So I had deleted his number out of my phone and considered it done. Well, we hung out Thursday night again... talking the entire time and falling asleep. He had been rough housing with his dog and ended up sliding into a cabinet in his house and broke his pinky toe. He told me all about how he rebroke it and reset it without thinking, and how the doctors on base don't know what they're doing, etc. Any way, we had a nice time... but I have no idea what it means.
I'm pretty sure that I'm self sabotaging the ones I like and the ones that I think are done aren't really... I don't know. I don't get it. Ugh.
I've been on vacation all week, and it hasn't really been too exciting.
JG - JG and I had talked for a while, and decided Sunday that we were going to hang out after he got off work that night and I was done with friends (We had gone to the Riverside Luminaries). We decide that a night of playing board games, watching Friends, etc was going to be a fun night. We started off playing memory - which he kicked my ass in. Then we played jenga, uno, and friends trivia... all of which I won. I think he got tired of losing so much to me, so we picked a movie to watch and settled in to watch it. By this point it was like 3 AM or so, but we made it through the movie. After it was over, we bickered back and forth because I was swearing up and down that one of the dental patients in the movie was one of the guys off of a TV show that I love. We went back and forth for a while, which turned into him kissing me... possibly to get me to shut up. This turned into us making out until about 6:30 AM, at which time he asked me if I wanted to stay or if I wanted to go.. I gave him the choice and he said I should just stay, it was getting late... so we went to bed fully clothed (making out some more). I left about 9 AM, and he was sound asleep. At any rate, what I don't understand is that we had a great time (my face hurt from laughing so much), he kissed me, he kept talking about "next time..." but I haven't heard from him since Monday. Hm.
T- So Thursday, I got a surprise text from a guy I had gone out with two weeks ago. I assumed that two weeks ago, it was done. He didn't look at me once (that I could tell) when he talked, etc. So I had deleted his number out of my phone and considered it done. Well, we hung out Thursday night again... talking the entire time and falling asleep. He had been rough housing with his dog and ended up sliding into a cabinet in his house and broke his pinky toe. He told me all about how he rebroke it and reset it without thinking, and how the doctors on base don't know what they're doing, etc. Any way, we had a nice time... but I have no idea what it means.
I'm pretty sure that I'm self sabotaging the ones I like and the ones that I think are done aren't really... I don't know. I don't get it. Ugh.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
And it begins...
So, I decided after this past weekend that I need to keep a toll on the dates I go on, "relationships" (which I tend to call whatevers) failing, etc... so I can kind of look back and see a trend.
As a first blog, I thought only fair to update based on the last few guys I have gone out with recently to give a basis for my "WTF!" dating.
So, to start off the story, I'm divorced as of recently, but separated for almost two years before the big D. My ex cheated on me.. which could and probably does explain a lot of my issues. I haven't dated in almost 8 years, which again.. could explain everything.
Okay, so here we go:
C: I met "C" on a dating site not long after Valentines Day. We met at Applebees and really hit it off. His wife had an affair also, only he had a 4 year old involved. C and I became awesome friends, going out for drinks, dinner, just hanging out, etc. He was the one person that I could tell "I had the most horrible day!" and he would whisk me away to Joe's for drinks and a walk on the beach. Fail proof way to make you feel better, by the way. At any rate, I finally met his son "J", and grew attached. I was his go to person when he was fighting for custody and going through his divorce.. he took me to the airport, and I assumed he was getting attached too. He took me to the airport for a trip home in July and my friend and I talked about how I should tell him how I feel before it's too late... so when my ex and I had a horrible fight while I was home, he talked me down - calling me perfect, any guy would be lucky to have me, etc. I decided I would do it... then I learned later that day or the next that he had met someone else via facebook. And... I cried. I think my best friend worried about me when I realized it was over, but she still encouraged me to tell him. When I got back to Florida, I told him when he picked me up at midnight from the airport. He told me I didn't want him, etc. At any rate, to make an extremely long story short, he moved very fast with this other girl and left me in the wind. The night I filed for divorce, we had made plans to just chill and talk.. but he ditched me. A week or so later, I finally tracked him down to get my key back (he took care of my cats while I was out of town)... and we fought. When I got home, he had defriended me on facebook and I realized that he never had a clue why I was so upset with him. And... we haven't talked since. (FYI: I was upset because I was there for him every step of the way with his divorce and custody case... when it was my turn, he was nowhere to be found)
J: I met "J" a couple of weeks after "C" and I had dissolved. I had joined the meetup website in an attempt to finally make friends in Florida, and the social group I had joined was sponsoring a lock and key event, where all of the guys get keys and all of the girls get locks.. and the goal is to see how many unlocks you can get, while also socializing and getting to know others. J and I hit it off instantly. The entire night we kept straying back to each other, and at the end of the night he decided he wanted to see me again. We decided we wanted to keep talking (it was only maybe 9 PM), so we drove back to my place, dropped off my car, and went to dinner on the water. We talked for what seemed like hours, realized we had so much in common with each other.. and left again together (well, obviously. he drove, right?). We decided that we were going to watch a movie, and talk more, so we went back to his place and fell asleep. That's right. Fell asleep. The next morning was a Sunday... he got up and went to church and left me sleeping while he was gone. Once he got home, he packed up a bag so he could travel right after dropping me off (his job requires a lot of it), then he took me home. We saw each other a couple of times after that night, and the last time it was just the two of us, he made me promise that we would only be friends - because he was still hurting from his marriage ending, he thought he would be too vulnerable. So... we went our separate ways for the most part. We still see each other from time to time.. with one of our groups, we are actually going zip lining Saturday.
A: Aww "A". I met A on a dating site also. He got me, my train of thought, and could throw sarcastic comments just as fast as I could dish them. Our first official date was an amazing night. We laughed and had non stop conversations the entire evening. We made plans for the next night, which ended up being us going to the bar at the end of my street and talking/laughing/drinking there the entire evening. Needless to say, neither of us were in any shape to drive, so he stayed the night at my place. We got up late (noonish), and we went and got lunch.. and just hung out for the afternoon. Late in the afternoon, he went home to shower/change clothes/help his roommate with something and then came back for the evening. That was the start of my smiling.. he would send me texts every morning at 7:15 (wake up.. inside joke), and we would just talk all the time, learning as much as we could about each other. My birthday rolled around, and it's always a hard day every year - 9/11. I'm funny when it comes to my birthday.. I don't like watching live TV and I don't like listening to the radio. My birthday this year was opening day of football, and A was a huge football fan. He gave up opening day for me, making dinner for me, and just celebrating my birthday. The next night, he came over to watch football and again made dinner for the two of us. And the next night.. and the next night. Around this time, A started coming down with seemed to be a cold.. and I was going out of town to Tampa to visit friends for the weekend. Before I left town, Anthony had decided for his birthday he was taking off work and heading to Key West for the weekend (a month after my birthday). He asked me to go, and I got the time off work, etc. Well, at this point things started to change. Anthony and his office manager were passing some sort of flu/cold back and forth to each other, so he was sick for the next two weeks. October 1, he finally got out and came over to see me. We ordered pizza and had a great evening together. When he left, he finally kissed me saying, "there. now you can get sick too." (he would only kiss me on the cheek or forehead because he was worried about it). After that, he started working crazy hours from being off work for two weeks essentially, and I heard from him less and less. Two weeks later, we were talking the Key West trip, and it was the day before we were supposed to go. He told me then that he could no longer go and was bummed because he had prepaid for things and was out that money. Again, the conversations became less and less.. and one night while drunk at a charity event, I texted him asking if I did something wrong. He texted me back the next morning saying that he was sorry.. he was just under a lot of stress... and that was the last I heard from him. To this day... that "whatever" is probably the most baffling as to why or how it ended.
M: M was a unique case. We met online and talked endlessly for hours at a time. He was a sailor and separated from his wife.. but due to his circumstances, he was just living in his three year old daughter's bedroom. M was deploying to Japan at the end of the year, and couldn't justify finding a new place to live until then. With M, I fell into the trap of hearing and wanting all the things he said. I fell into an instant state of lust when we finally got together. We saw each other twice, the first time we fell asleep watching a movie (bad habit of mine.. I get comfy and I am out like a light), and the second he left early due to fighting with his ex. From what I could gather, they were fighting over his daughter, which is the one thing I told him I didn't want to interfere in before he left... so we only saw each other when she went to sleep. At any rate, the next morning I texted him to make sure that he was okay - because he was not happy at all when he left. The response was not one I expected. He basically told me that he is leaving his daughter for two years and needs to spend time with her, and that he was going to start dating when his divorce was final, and that he hoped i slept okay. Um, what? At first, I was really angry. I was so hurt/upset/angry that I didn't get out of bed until the afternoon. But as time has gone on.. I miss talking to him/hearing from him, but maybe it was for the best. Clearly, he wasn't ready to move on, and with him leaving for Japan, it just would have hurt worse as time moved on.
At any rate, those are the impacts to leave me wondering what in the world I did. I decided that going forward, I want to keep track.. so bear with me! However, my life tends to take hilarious turns.. so odds are this just won't be about dating.
Alright... ready... set... let's go!
As a first blog, I thought only fair to update based on the last few guys I have gone out with recently to give a basis for my "WTF!" dating.
So, to start off the story, I'm divorced as of recently, but separated for almost two years before the big D. My ex cheated on me.. which could and probably does explain a lot of my issues. I haven't dated in almost 8 years, which again.. could explain everything.
Okay, so here we go:
C: I met "C" on a dating site not long after Valentines Day. We met at Applebees and really hit it off. His wife had an affair also, only he had a 4 year old involved. C and I became awesome friends, going out for drinks, dinner, just hanging out, etc. He was the one person that I could tell "I had the most horrible day!" and he would whisk me away to Joe's for drinks and a walk on the beach. Fail proof way to make you feel better, by the way. At any rate, I finally met his son "J", and grew attached. I was his go to person when he was fighting for custody and going through his divorce.. he took me to the airport, and I assumed he was getting attached too. He took me to the airport for a trip home in July and my friend and I talked about how I should tell him how I feel before it's too late... so when my ex and I had a horrible fight while I was home, he talked me down - calling me perfect, any guy would be lucky to have me, etc. I decided I would do it... then I learned later that day or the next that he had met someone else via facebook. And... I cried. I think my best friend worried about me when I realized it was over, but she still encouraged me to tell him. When I got back to Florida, I told him when he picked me up at midnight from the airport. He told me I didn't want him, etc. At any rate, to make an extremely long story short, he moved very fast with this other girl and left me in the wind. The night I filed for divorce, we had made plans to just chill and talk.. but he ditched me. A week or so later, I finally tracked him down to get my key back (he took care of my cats while I was out of town)... and we fought. When I got home, he had defriended me on facebook and I realized that he never had a clue why I was so upset with him. And... we haven't talked since. (FYI: I was upset because I was there for him every step of the way with his divorce and custody case... when it was my turn, he was nowhere to be found)
J: I met "J" a couple of weeks after "C" and I had dissolved. I had joined the meetup website in an attempt to finally make friends in Florida, and the social group I had joined was sponsoring a lock and key event, where all of the guys get keys and all of the girls get locks.. and the goal is to see how many unlocks you can get, while also socializing and getting to know others. J and I hit it off instantly. The entire night we kept straying back to each other, and at the end of the night he decided he wanted to see me again. We decided we wanted to keep talking (it was only maybe 9 PM), so we drove back to my place, dropped off my car, and went to dinner on the water. We talked for what seemed like hours, realized we had so much in common with each other.. and left again together (well, obviously. he drove, right?). We decided that we were going to watch a movie, and talk more, so we went back to his place and fell asleep. That's right. Fell asleep. The next morning was a Sunday... he got up and went to church and left me sleeping while he was gone. Once he got home, he packed up a bag so he could travel right after dropping me off (his job requires a lot of it), then he took me home. We saw each other a couple of times after that night, and the last time it was just the two of us, he made me promise that we would only be friends - because he was still hurting from his marriage ending, he thought he would be too vulnerable. So... we went our separate ways for the most part. We still see each other from time to time.. with one of our groups, we are actually going zip lining Saturday.
A: Aww "A". I met A on a dating site also. He got me, my train of thought, and could throw sarcastic comments just as fast as I could dish them. Our first official date was an amazing night. We laughed and had non stop conversations the entire evening. We made plans for the next night, which ended up being us going to the bar at the end of my street and talking/laughing/drinking there the entire evening. Needless to say, neither of us were in any shape to drive, so he stayed the night at my place. We got up late (noonish), and we went and got lunch.. and just hung out for the afternoon. Late in the afternoon, he went home to shower/change clothes/help his roommate with something and then came back for the evening. That was the start of my smiling.. he would send me texts every morning at 7:15 (wake up.. inside joke), and we would just talk all the time, learning as much as we could about each other. My birthday rolled around, and it's always a hard day every year - 9/11. I'm funny when it comes to my birthday.. I don't like watching live TV and I don't like listening to the radio. My birthday this year was opening day of football, and A was a huge football fan. He gave up opening day for me, making dinner for me, and just celebrating my birthday. The next night, he came over to watch football and again made dinner for the two of us. And the next night.. and the next night. Around this time, A started coming down with seemed to be a cold.. and I was going out of town to Tampa to visit friends for the weekend. Before I left town, Anthony had decided for his birthday he was taking off work and heading to Key West for the weekend (a month after my birthday). He asked me to go, and I got the time off work, etc. Well, at this point things started to change. Anthony and his office manager were passing some sort of flu/cold back and forth to each other, so he was sick for the next two weeks. October 1, he finally got out and came over to see me. We ordered pizza and had a great evening together. When he left, he finally kissed me saying, "there. now you can get sick too." (he would only kiss me on the cheek or forehead because he was worried about it). After that, he started working crazy hours from being off work for two weeks essentially, and I heard from him less and less. Two weeks later, we were talking the Key West trip, and it was the day before we were supposed to go. He told me then that he could no longer go and was bummed because he had prepaid for things and was out that money. Again, the conversations became less and less.. and one night while drunk at a charity event, I texted him asking if I did something wrong. He texted me back the next morning saying that he was sorry.. he was just under a lot of stress... and that was the last I heard from him. To this day... that "whatever" is probably the most baffling as to why or how it ended.
M: M was a unique case. We met online and talked endlessly for hours at a time. He was a sailor and separated from his wife.. but due to his circumstances, he was just living in his three year old daughter's bedroom. M was deploying to Japan at the end of the year, and couldn't justify finding a new place to live until then. With M, I fell into the trap of hearing and wanting all the things he said. I fell into an instant state of lust when we finally got together. We saw each other twice, the first time we fell asleep watching a movie (bad habit of mine.. I get comfy and I am out like a light), and the second he left early due to fighting with his ex. From what I could gather, they were fighting over his daughter, which is the one thing I told him I didn't want to interfere in before he left... so we only saw each other when she went to sleep. At any rate, the next morning I texted him to make sure that he was okay - because he was not happy at all when he left. The response was not one I expected. He basically told me that he is leaving his daughter for two years and needs to spend time with her, and that he was going to start dating when his divorce was final, and that he hoped i slept okay. Um, what? At first, I was really angry. I was so hurt/upset/angry that I didn't get out of bed until the afternoon. But as time has gone on.. I miss talking to him/hearing from him, but maybe it was for the best. Clearly, he wasn't ready to move on, and with him leaving for Japan, it just would have hurt worse as time moved on.
At any rate, those are the impacts to leave me wondering what in the world I did. I decided that going forward, I want to keep track.. so bear with me! However, my life tends to take hilarious turns.. so odds are this just won't be about dating.
Alright... ready... set... let's go!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)