I have a very bad... habit? Outcome? Hell, I dunno what to call it.

First a story... of the most horrendous blind date ever.

So I go to this restaurant to meet a guy that an employee thinks I would be "perfect" for. I sit down at the table, and think "Okay.. this might not be so bad."

Boyy, was I wrong!

Here's how the conversation went:

Guy: So, what do you do for work?
Me: The easy version is that I do a type of Project Management for defaulted mortgages. What about  you?
Guy: Oh, I'm unemployed (red flag #1!)
Me: That sucks, I'm sorry to hear it. (thinking WTF am I doing here!?)
Guy: It's okay. Do you have any kids?
Me: Nope. I'm not sure I ever want children. You?
Guy: Yes. I have 4. But it's okay, because grandma took care of them all before they were born.
Me: WHAT?!
Guy: You know... abortion. I guess she felt she didn't want to raise them, since I was in federal pen for 10 years.
Me: WHAT!? (at this point I'm scrambling for an excuse) Umm, can you excuse me for a minute, I need to use the restaurant.
Me (In restroom): (Dialing frantically): HEY! I need for you to call me and tell me that something happened to my project and I need to go back to work to fix it, since deadline is tomorrow.

annnnd with that... that's the first time I have EVER utilized a friend to bail me out of a horrible first date. When I got to work the following day, the employee claimed to have no knowledge of this guy's background, but who knows.

So back to the original story I wanted to tell:

I met a guy back in April who took me out on the most amazing, best first date ever. He took me to a shooting range and taught me how to shoot hand guns. I've shot things like paintball guns, or bee bee guns... or even nerf guns (fun first date question btw), but those things you just... shoot. After we finished there, we went for sushi and talked until the wee hours of the morning. So he stayed in constant contact for a few days after, but our schedules weren't meshing (He is an attorney doing much of the same stuff I do - dealing with defaults), but we planned on going to a Ben Folds concert before I went out of the country on vacation. At any rate, he had to work so I scrambled to find someone to take with me last minute... I think I wrote him off at that point.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and had a text from him. We are both insomniacs, so it wasn't uncommon for us to have conversations at 4 AM. I texted him back, and we started talking about life, how he quit his job, how I was going to West Palm Beach for an interview, etc... He told me he would hate it if I moved away. We made plans for later that day (lunch), and went from there.

We started spending a lot of time together, but I noticed when my friends got to town, he became distant. He told me that he went into his "dark" place and didn't want to drag me down with him. I get that - sometimes I get down and just want to be  left alone too. So, the following Monday, he made plans with me but broke them because his realtor scheduled a house showing (first I heard he was selling his house), so he rescheduled for the following day, promising dinner. The next day. he cancelled again.

Saturday night, I finally texted him asking if I did something.. and I got a long response back, basically saying that he started seeing someone else and he was moving to Atlanta to be with her... he couldn't tell me this when he, I dunno, put the house on the market and told me that it didn't mean he was moving to Atlanta, just selling his house?

Guys are so confusing. And PS, that makes 3 guys that broke up with me (or stopped seeing me) because he found someone else.

So currently, the thought going through my head is that I'm only good enough until someone better comes along.

Le sigh.